THINK BEFORE YOU WISH!
Christmas Day was as good, if not better than Ben had wished for. The key piece of software that had been on his wish list for months was now being loaded on to his computer. Why did Mum and Dad still wrap things up for him and put on the tag “To Ben, Happy Christmas Love from, Santa x”
He could not wait to start writing apps, that is what the software was all about. Making writing apps easy.
Ben wrote a small simple app to find Christmas music on the web. The writing was easy for his IT literate brain. Wizzard’s song “I wish it could be Christmas, everyday” soon filled the air of his bedroom.
He supposed he still loved and was excited by Christmas. Even at his age with GCSE’s coming up, he enjoyed Gran and Grandpop coming for Christmas lunch and Grandma Morton staying with them. He missed Grandpa Morton so much. He used to love Christmas and he and Ben used to get up to some brilliant tricks, like parcelling up a fully inflated balloon with a pin and instructions on how to stick it in the balloon for Grandma and warning her it was a present that would go with a bang.
“Yes” thought Ben “I really wish it could be Christmas everyday. No more school, just on the computer, all the time.”
He looked at his computer screen and like a flash he had an idea. Why not write an app to grant wishes. So you click on it and a fairy appears and asks you your wish and then grants it. With a limit of three, obviously.
Just over 90 minutes later and after a few false runs and unfortunate mishaps, Ben clicked on his app. There was a clash of cymbals, a roll on the drums, and in a shower of glittering stars a beautiful girl, appeared wearing a pure white fairy outfit with ballet shoes on her feet and holding a wand with a golden star on the top.
“Hi Dude.” She said. “I’m the fairy of the Wishes App. Your wish is my command.”
“Wow” Yelled Ben, punching the air. “I did it, I did it.”
“Well come on.” Said the fairy. “Get on with it. I’ve a dance to go to tonight to help out Prince Charming. What’s your wish? To have loads of money or be in a boy band or to be a top international footballer. Don’t keep me waiting.”
“I wish it could be Christmas everyday.” Stammered Ben.
“Your wish is my command!” Shouted the fairy. She waved the wand. There was a whoosh! and she was gone, leaving a heap of stardust on Ben’s bedroom floor.
For the rest of that day life carried on like a normal Christmas Day.
But when Ben awoke the next day, Boxing Day, there were lots of presents around the tree again just like Christmas Day. Mum was all gloomy saying Boxing Day Sales had been cancelled at the shops, which made Dad ecstatic, he thought it was the best thing since sliced bread, no, even better than that. The fact was Boxing Day had been cancelled altogether.
Gran and Grandpop came for Christmas lunch, again, and it was at that point that Ben realised his wishes app had worked.
Like Groundhog Day, Christmas Day kept re-occuring day after day after day. New Year’s Day and celebrations were cancelled and replaced by Christmas Day celebrations. Going back to work came and went without anyone going back to work except emergency services and care workers as everyday was considered a Public Holiday.
By Valentines Day it was becoming a little tedious, especially when everyone sent Christmas cards instead of Valentine cards which meant they signed the cards with their names. Where was the mystery and romance in all of that? And a chocolate world shortage resulted in rationing.
The UK economy was all topsy turvy. The small independent corner shop businesses were growing massively as they were the only shops allowed to open Christmas Day, large stores and supermarkets are enforced by law to close Christmas Day and Easter Sunday.
Special permission had to be obtained to reconvene parliament to repeal the law and allow supermarkets to open Christmas day.
By March companies were starting to go bust because they were not trading due to employees not returning to work as they celebrated Christmas everyday.
In April massive pine needle mountains were reported all over the country as all the real Christmas trees dried up and cast their pine needles. Ben realising Christmas every day was probably not a good idea tried summoning the fairy. But a rough looking unshaven elf called Zac turned up. “Sorry, she’s not available,” he said “And Union rules are we can’t interfere with each other’s magic.”
In May reindeers went on strike saying they had gone from a one day a year working arrangement to 365 and 366 in a leap year and they wanted at least one day off a week. ACAS were called in to resolve the issue.
By June China’s economy had quadrupled, turkeys were beyond being an endangered species and were extinct and brussel sprouts became a luxury, the only place you could get a brussel sprout was on Ebay at £750,000 each.
By July 99% of the country were certified obese with 88% of all men weighing over 30 stone and 75% of women due to eating excessive Christmas meals every day.
By August Ben was getting a little bored with Christmas every day. Mum and Dad had started to argue, Dad saying to Mum has your mother moved in permanently, when is she going home and Mum said ahe’ll go when your mum and dad stop coming for dinner, every day. Ben was missing his summer holiday so much.
By September the Queen had run out of original ideas for her Christmas Day message and began using old Eastenders scripts as the base and contacted Peter Kay to give her tips on observing life and comedy style to keep it entertaining.
By October credit card debt reached record levels being at the highest ever and in the trillions of £ sterling.
By November Santa was so thin there were massive rumours going around the internet that he was anorexic. But it was all because he had had to work every day, no time to rest, no time for meals,
On Christmas Eve which of course was not Christmas Eve any more as every day was Christmas Day, Ben was hanging up his stocking as he did every night. He hated doing it. He knew full well that next day it would be filled with even more presents that needed opening. Just like the day before that and the day before that. He tried as he did every night to use the 3 Wishes App to ask the fairy to end his wish. But as usual nothing happened.
Ben was desperate for the next day not to be a Christmas Day. Christmas Day had been every day for a year now. He waited until everyone was in bed. Next he crept downstairs and into the lounge and began taking the tinsel from the Christmas tree. This tree he had loved so much last year he now hated with a passion. His mission to take it down and tomorrow to pretend it was not Christmas Day.
He pulled the easy chair up near the tree and stood on it to take the fairy from the top. As he did so there was a clash of cymbals, a roll on the drums, and in a shower of glittering stars a beautiful girl, and very sun tanned, appeared wearing a pure white fairy outfit and holding a wand with a golden star on the top. Ben almost fell off the chair.
“Hi Dude.” She said. “I’m the fairy of the Wishes App. Your wish is my command. Are you enjoying Christmas everyday?”
“Quite frankly, no!” said Ben. “It’s horrendous and has interfered with the running of the world. Even the American president and Putin have been asking questions. But I think I got away with it. Everyone blamed Brexit.”
“Oh I thought I’d done a good job.” Said the fairy.
“You did. It’s me who should not have wished it could be Christmas everyday. Where have you been I have been trying to contact you since April to rescind the wish.”
“I’ve been on holiday, sweetheart. In the Caribbean. Don’t you think I deserve it? It’s not easy being at everyone’s beck and call pandering to their every whim. We fairies are not allowed wishes. If we were I’d wish I did not have to grant wishes.
“And most are like you, sweetheart.”
“What’s that then?” Asked Ben.
“Just don’t think and take care for what they wish for.”
“But now I wish it would not be Christmas every day, please.”
“Ok, I’ll grant the wish, that will leave you one wish.”
“For that,” said Ben “I wish you, the wish fairy, would not have to grant wishes.”
“Wow, thank you.” You’re an angel.
“Your wish is my command!” She waved the wand. There was a whoosh and she was gone leaving a heap of stardust on the living room carpet.
The tree had gone, the decorations had gone.
The next morning, the morning of the 25th December at 7.00am mum got him to go to school saying Dad had already gone to work and grandma had gone home.
But by the next 25th December it dawned on Ben he had not considered too carefully what he had wished for, yet again. When he got up there were no Christmas presents, no Christmas tree and no Christmas dinner. Stopping it being Christmas every day, meant precisely what it said EVERY day.
When I was a lad at school around 13 years old, our Maths teacher used to call me Wol. At the end of the year as we were moving up a class I plucked up courage to ask why he called me Wol. He told meit was thename of the deslexic owl in Winnie the Pooh. With my Harry Potter glasses he said I looked like the Wise Old Owl in the Winnie the Pooh stories.
Being the vain person I am I took it as a compliment
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