GISSY GOOSE LIVES ON A BUS

 

POST 0008//2016

GISSY (GISSELDA) GOOSE LIVES ON A BUS

 

Gissy Goose was looking for somewhere cosy to  lay her eggs that would hatch into baby geese..

 

She searched the other side of the woods around the lake. The lake is a lovely home for lots of birds and animals in the summer months, but as it starts to get colder, the lake freezes over. It’s difficult to get around on a frozen lake. Gissy’s feet slide in opposite directions as soon as she step on the ice. Gissy had had enough of winters on the ice. She was fed up of having a bruised bottom for half the year from falling over on the cold hard lake. She decided to look for a new home.

 

Through the woods Gissy flip-flopped on her fat, orange feet. The leaves were starting to fall from the trees and swirling around her. The cold wind made her shiver. “I must find somewhere soon” she thought, “somewhere warm and cosy and peaceful and quiet. To lay my eggs and bring up my family”.

 

The first thing she saw as she stepped out of the forest was a bus. The bus was old and broken. The paintwork was peeling. She saw the curtains of spider’s webs at the windows. She peered in at the worn, comfy seats. She admired the dented tin roof that would surely protect her from most of the rain and snow.

 

“Perfect!” she said waddling up the steps, and made herself comfortable on the front seat.

 

She was just dozing off to sleep when… TAT TAP TAPPETTY TAP.

“What’s that noise?” she squawked, jerking awake.

It was coming from the roof. Gissy stuck her head out of the window and looked up. “Creepy crows!” she hissed. “Get away birds! Stop dancing on my roof.”

 

“But we are only teaching our children to tap dance.” Answered Daddy Crow.

 

“Well, you are not any more.” Homked Gissy. “Be off with you  or I’ll make a crow butty of you!”

 

The crow family flew away frightened.

 

Gissy settled down again. Her eyes were barley closed when she heard:

“SQUEAK, SQUEAK SQUEAKITY SQUEAK”.

 

“What on earth is that?” she honked.

 

The noise appeared to be coming from the seats. Gissy hopped down and peered into the torn cushions.

 

“Miserable mice!” she hissed. “Get away Mice! Stop squeaking in my seats or I’ll be having toasted mice dipped in milk for my breakfast!”

 

The mice scampered away, scared.

 

Gissy dusted the mice droppings from the front seat and plonked herself down. “Finally!” she said. She rested her head on the window ledge, until…

“CLUCK CLUCK CLUCKITY CLUCK” came the sound from somewhere above her head.

 

“What now?” she fumed.

 

She stood on the seat and strained upwards. “Horrid hens!” she hissed. “Get out of here! Stop clucking in the parcel racks or I’ll turn you into chicken soup!”

 

The hens were so afraid they flapped and jumped out of the broken window.

 

“I’ll try again” said Gissy.

 

She put her feet up on the seat and folded her wings behind her head. “This is the life,” she thought.

 

“BUZZ BUZZ BUZZITY BUZZ” came a noise from underneath the old rotting floor.

 

“What is going on there?” Gissy stomped down the steps and stuck her head angrily into the boot.

 

“Bothersome bees!” she hissed “Buzz off bees! Stop buzzing in my boot or I’ll turn you into  bee burgers for tea!”

 

By then Gissy was too cross to sleep. She decided to sit by the window and have a look at the pretty view to clam her nerves.

 

“I can’t see a thing!” she moaned. “All this net everywhere!” She knocked the spiders’ lacy curtains away from the window.

 

“Silly spiders!” she hissed “Go away spiders! Stop putting webs over my windows or I’ll make Spider crisps of you”.

 

The spiders scampered off, terrified.

 

Gissy stood in the middle of her bus. It was all so quiet and peaceful. The sun streamed in through the clear windows. She lay back down on the front seat, delighted at last with her new home and closed her eyes. There was nothing to wake her this time and soon she was fast asleep, snoring goosey snores and dreaming goosey dreams.

 

By the time Gissy awoke it was dark. She stretched out her wings and opened her eyes.

 

“Good evening Gissy” said a silky voice.

 

Gissy jumped. She looked around and saw a long furry, foxy nose and two mean, glinty, foxy eyes.

 

“You’ve awoken just in time for dinner. My dinner of course, not yours. I think I’ll make goose dumplings and chips.”

 

 

“Help!!” screamed Gissy, flapping her wings.

 

“No point in shouting” said the fox. “You shooed everyone off. They’ll all be miles away now, looking for new homes” and he smiled his big, white sharp teeth, smile at her.

 

“Now, shall I have you fried, boiled, baked or roasted? In a pie or in a bun?”

 

Then he heard it:

 

TAP TAP TAPPETTY TAP. TAP TAP TAPPETTY TAP. It was coming from the roof. The fox looked up in surprise. He looked out of the window. The crows had returned.

 

Gissy saw her opportunity and ran to the back of the bus.

 

“Now!” came a squeak from the seats and dozens of mice scampered towards the fox, tickling his feet pulling his tail, swinging on his whispers.

 

“Stop it! Stop it!” giggled the fox.

 

The fox tried to knock the quick little mice off him, but an egg hit him square between the eyes. Then another cracked on his bottom. The hens were back up on the parcel shelf, having a wonderful time, throwing their eggs at him.

 

A loud sound of buzzing came from the back doorway and in swarmed the bees. They began to sting the fox all over. “Ouch!” cried the fox, as one got his nose. “Ow!” he yelped as a bee stung each ear. “Help” he whimpered as five bees landed on each paw. Finally the Queen bee dive bombed the fox and stung him hard right in the middle of his bum.

 

“Ow!Owww! Stop that really hurts.” Moaned the fox, rubbing his bottom.

 

Then it was the turn of the spiders. They set to work, spinning their strongest webs. Half of them bound the fox’s legs together. The other half wrapped web around his nose and mouth to keep those snappy teeth still. “Hmmph” said the fox.

 

The fox was a big animal, but all the creatures that lived in the bus worked together, to carry him away. The mice ran along underneath him, so he was resting on their backs. The hens hauled him by his paws. The crows and the bees grabbed tufts of hair to wrench him along in the air. The spiders pulled hard at the webs they had spun and ran on ahead and Gissy dragged him by his nose. They dumped him into the icy cold lake and watched him float away into the dark night, never to be seen again.

 

“Thank you! Thank you, so much.” said Gissy when they all arrived back at the bus.

 

“I suppose I’d better find somewhere else to live now. And leave you in peace I have been such a bad goose to you kind beings.

“Don’t be silly” squawked the crows. “There’s room for everyone here if we share”.

 

“Of course there is,” shouted everyone.

 

“”Well thank you again” said Gissy. “Let’s have a party to celebrate!”

 

And the animals ate honey omelettes and watched a magnificent tap-dancing show and they all agreed they had the most wonderful home in the world.

 

And four weeks later the five eggs hatched out and five little goslings joined them all. But that’s another story.

When I was a lad at school around 13 years old, our Maths teacher used to call me Wol. At the end of the year as we were moving up a class I plucked up courage to ask why he called me Wol. He told meit was thename of the deslexic owl in Winnie the Pooh. With my Harry Potter glasses he said I looked like the Wise Old Owl in the Winnie the Pooh stories.

 

Being the vain person I am I took it as a compliment

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