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BIG BILLY BLUE BUS' WINDY MOTHER'S DAY

BIG BILLY BLUE BUS'WINDY MOTHER'S DAY MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR (Part 1)

 

Big Billy Blue Bus looked out to sea over the sandy beach. He knew he was one cool bus. A blue Old Bill, double decker bus. His mission was running round the seaside town of Tumity-tum on Sea every day. Once every hour, he carried holidaymakers and local people. He gave them all a brilliant time.

 

His best mate, driver Joe polished the lens on Big Billy Blue Bus’ spectacles that clipped over his bonnet  enabling his headlamp eyes to see more clearly in the light and dark.

 

 “Ding Dong” Rang Big Billy Blue Bus’ bell.

 

“Tooty Tooty” went his hooter

 

“I’m so excited.” Big Billy Blue Bus said to Driver Joe.

 

He then rushed up the hill, to the light house. The first stop of the day.

 

Mrs Custard who owned the café on the sea front was his first passenger. Her children were with her, Sam and Katy and their Dad

 

“Good Morning Mrs Custard.” Said Big Billy Blue Bus. “I am so excited.”

 

Mrs Custard carefully took her normal seat down stairs on Big Billy Blue Bus.

 

“You are always excited.” Said Mrs Custard.

 

“Yes but today I am more excited than usual.” Said Big Billy Blue Bus.

 

And his bell rang again and his hooter tooted, just to prove it.

 

“Today is Mothering Sunday.” Said Driver Joe. “He always gets extra excited on Mothering Sunday.”

 

“Yes,” Said Mrs Custard. “Mrs Chalk is looking after my café so that me and my family can go on your special Mother’s Day Magical Mystery Tour, Big Billy Blue Bus. Where are we going?”

 

“It is such a mystery not even I know.” Said Big Billy Blue Bus “Ding Dong.”

 

“I want to go upstairs.” Yelled Sam.

 

“We do not go upstairs because the wind messes up my beautifully neat hair.” Said  Mummy Custard.

 

“I’ll take you.” Said Daddy Custard.

 

But on top the wind blew so hard it blew Sam’s dad’s hat off right down the hill, across the beach and into the sea.

 

“Tootity toot!” Big Billy Blue Bus laughed. “Sorry about that it’s the mischievous wind. Meet Wilberforce wind. He’s very strong. He comes for his holidays every March. He’s always playing tricks on my passengers.”

 

“But where’s he taken my hat?” Asked Daddy Custard.

 

“Ding! Dong!” Rang Big Billy Blue Bus’ Bell. “Tootity toot!” went his hooter. “Don’t worry we’ll probably find it on the beach.”

 

And Big Billy Blue Bus carried on his journey around Tummity-tum on Sea picking up mum’s and their families for the special ‘Big Billy Blue Bus Special Mothers Day Magical Mystery Tour.’

 

“Ding! Dong!” Rang Big Billy Blue Bus’ Bell. “Tootity toot!” went his hooter.

 

“Hold on very tightly to your hats and hair!” Called out Joe the Driver.

 

“Wilberforce wind will you stop trying to push me back down the hills.” Said Big Billy Blue Bus trying to smile as he climbed the hills for he found it very hard work

 

 “Wilberforce wind will you stop pushing me down the other side of the hill and making me go so fast even I am scared.” Said Big Billy Blue Bus trying to smile as he sped down the other side of the hill.

 

“Oh dearie, dearie me.” Shouted Joe the Driver. “ Please hold very, very tightly today.”

 

“Whoooo!” Giggled Wilberforce Wind and blew even harder.

 

“Ding! Dong!” Rang Big Billy Blue Bus’ Bell. “Tootity toot!” went his hooter.

 

By the time Big Billy Blue Bus reached Mr Izzy’s Magic Emporium shop in Tummity-tum on Sea he was full of mum’s and their families.

 

Mr Izzy was waiting for them.

 

“Tootity toot.” Big Billy Blue Bus’ hooter sounded. “This is the first part of the Magical Mystery. Every Mum, child and dad gets a free balloon and can choose their favourite colour.”

 

“Good morning, Mr Izzy.” Said Joe the driver.

 

“Good morning Joe, Good morning Big Billy Blue Bus. Good morning everyone. Happy Mother’s Day mums.” Said Mr Izzy.

 

“I have the balloons, ready Joe. But be careful. Wilberforce wind is in a very playful mood today and his most favourite thing in the world after hats and hair is playing with balloons.”

 

“Thanks.” Said Joe and Big Billy Blue Bus together.

 

“He’s already been playing jokes on us.” Said Big Billy Blue Bus.

 

Mr Izzy handed Joe the driver the strings of hundreds of balloons. Joe the Driver tied them on to the top of Big Billy Blue Bus. Then Mr Izzy gave him hundreds more and hundreds more.

 

Finally Mr Izzy gave Joe the Driver a massive rainbow coloured balloon with the words : Big Billy Blue Bus’ Magical Mystery Mother’s Day Tour written on it.

 

Big Billy Blue Bus had never seen so many colourful balloons. The problem was Mr Izzy was brilliant at magic but not very good at counting. He had given Big Billy Blue Bus, hundreds, no thousands, no millions of balloons more than there were mums and families on the bus.

 

Big Billy Blue Bus loved it. He had never looked so good or colourful. All the colourful balloons made it look as though he was carrying a rainbow.

 

“Ding! Dong!” Rang Big Billy Blue Bus’ Bell. “Tootity toot!” went his hooter.

 

“Hold very tightly!” Shouted Joe the driver and they were away on the tour.

 

As they drove along Tummity-tum on Sea’s sea front Wilberforce Wind was back in force. He was so attracted by the massive bunch of balloons.

 

“Whoooooo.” He whistled

 

“Ding! Dong!” Rang Big Billy Blue Bus’ Bell. “Tootity toot!” went his hooter. “Go away Wilberforce Wind. Leave my balloons alone.”

 

But Wilberforce took no notice. He saw the balloons and loved balloons. He began playing with a red one. Then a green one and a blue one and a pink one, in no time at all he was playing with all of them.

 

Big Billy Blue Bus felt his wheels leave the road!

 

“Oh no! Help! Hold very tightly!” Shouted Joe the Driver. “What is happening?”

 

He looked down.  Big Billy Blue Bus was above the rooftops of the Tummity-tum on Sea shops.

 

Mums and children were screaming. Dads sat bravely saying nothing but were longing to scream.

 

BIG BILLY BLUE BUS'WINDY MOTHER'S DAY MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR (Part 2)

 

 

 

“Whoooooo.” Whistled Wilberforce Wind “I’m taking you on a Magical Mystery Mother’s Day Tour. The balloons made you so light to pick up Big Billy Blue Bus.”

 

“What are you doing up here?” Said a seagull with a laughing cackle as it flew past.

 

“Wilberforce Wind return me to earth this minute!” Demanded Big Billy Blue Bus.

 

“Oh dear it’s now gone foggy.” He added as they passed through a cloud.

 

“Ok.” Said Wilberforce Wind. “Your wish is my command, oh master. I was getting fed up with playing with balloons, anyway. There’s a washing line of nice clean clothes over there with lots of muddy puddles. That looks more fun than playing with you.”

 

“Help! Hold very tightly!” Shouted Joe the Driver as Wilberforce Wind let the go of the balloons and Big Billy Blue Bus started falling from the sky.

 

“You pest, Wilberforce wind. Ding! Dong!” Rang Big Billy Blue Bus’ Bell. “Tootity toot!” went his hooter.

 

Big Billy Blue Bus was rapidly falling, down, down, down… towards the sea.

 

“Oh no!” Said Big Billy Blue Bus “We are going to end up in the sea.”

 

“Can you swim?” Asked Joe the driver.

 

“I don’t think buses swim.” Said Big Billy Blue Bus. “They have to turn into boats and float and sail”

 

“Can you float and sail?”

 

“I’ve never had time to learn.”

 

“You’d better learn now and quickly. Hold very tightly”

 

At that point there was a bump as Big Billy Blue Bus’ wheels hit something hard

 

“Hold very tightly.” Shouted Joe the Driver. “Where are we?”

 

“We’ve landed safely but on an island in the middle of the sea.” Said Big Billy Blue Bus.

 

There were cries of relief from all the mums and the children carried on their excited chatter as they had done throughout this adventure. And all the dads were cool and said “I told you it was all part of the tour.”

 

“Ding! Dong!” Rang Big Billy Blue Bus’ Bell. “Tootity toot!” went his hooter.

 

“This island is so far out at sea there is no telephone reception. How are we going to get back to Tummity-tum on Sea?” said Joe the driver “It’s too far to swim.”

 

“Give everyone their picnic baskets and let them have their picnic whilst we think of a plan.” Said Big Billy Blue Bus.

 

The picnic baskets were full of goodies sandwiches, pizza’s, salads, yogurts, biscuits fruit salad, apples, chocolate raisins and a special Big Billy Blue Bus’ Magical Mystery Mother’s Day Tour chocolate cake. And no picnic would be complete without a Mothers Day Milkshake or lashing of Famous Five lemonade.

 

“Well that’s made our load lighter getting rid of all those.” Said Joe the Driver.

 

“That’s the answer.” Said Big Billy Blue Bus.

 

“What is?” Said Joe the Driver

 

“To get back to Tummity-tum on Sea we need to lose weight and the balloons will carry us back.”

 

“How do we do that? Leave the dad’s here?”

 

“No dad’s might appear to be brave but they are scaredy cats really. They would freak out if the mums were not with them on the island. I’ve just done a calculation on my onboard tablet. I put in my weight, the number of people, the total number of balloons and destination of Tummity-tum on Sea and it has calculated we can make it if we get all the mums to leave the contents of their handbags behind.”

 

“Wow!” Said Joe the Driver, “That is amazing. But you’ll never get them to do that.”

 

 “Mum’s handbags contain everything you need in life ever and more besides. Lipstick, pens, lollipops, cough sweets, paper, plasters, drinks, tissue, even an hippopotamus.”

 

“Ok. If we are to survive we have to get them to empty their bags.” Said Joe the Driver.

 

“Hold very tightly and listen up,” shouted Joe the Driver. “To get off this island and back to Tummity-tum on Sea we need all mum’s to dump the contents of their handbags.”

 

There was a roar of moans and objection of disapproval and refusal.

 

“Oh Big Billy Blue Bus. They refuse to do it” said a very worried Joe the Driver. “We will have to live on this island for ever.”

 

“Tell the children to empty their mum’s handbags, list the contents and the one with the most items wins a prize.” Said Big Billy Blue Bus.

 

“But we don’t have a prize” said Joe the Driver.

 

“Yes we do. The massive balloon with the words Big Billy Blue Bus’ Magical Mystery Mother’s Day Tour written on it.” Said Big Billy Blue Bus.

 

“Big Billy Blue Bus, you are a genius.”

 

Within minutes of Joe the driver’s announcement of the competition all the mum’s bags were empty. And as a surprise to everyone three father’s had handbags too.

 

“Ding! Dong!” rang Big Billy Blue Bus’ Bell. “Tootity toot!” went his hooter.

 

“I am delighted to announce the winner of “Items in My Mums (or Dad’s) Handbag” is Sam Custard, Mum Custard’s little boy with a record 947 items.”

 

“All aboard Big Billy Blue Bus, please” said Joe the Driver. “Off we go homeward bound. Hold very tightly please.”

 

As the last person climbed aboard Big Billy Blue Bus, Joe the driver the ropes go that had tethered the bus to the island. Slowly as Big Billy Blue Bus had calculated the balloons hoisted him up into the clear blue sky.

 

Wilberforce wind was no where around just a gentle breeze to ease Big Billy Blue Bus towards Tummity-tum on Sea. Down below was the silver blue sea. The end of the end of the pier could be seen clearly below them.. This time everyone could enjoy the flight. Except those who got flight sickness or had a fear of flying.

 

“Is this going to be a regular bus service?” squawked Laura Seagull in laughter as she flew alongside Big Billy Blue Bus.

 

“Ding! Dong!” Rang Big Billy Blue Bus’ Bell. “Tootity toot!” went his hooter.

 

Passengers were excited as they looked down on Tummity-tum on sea and could see the matchstick sized holidaymakers below.

 

“Sit down please” said Joe the Driver “Hold very tightly. Ok, clever clogs, Big Billy Blue Bus, you got us up here, how you going to get us down?”

 

“I’ve already thought of that” said Big Billy Blue Bus. “Laura Seagull, would you burst all but 100 of the balloons and not the big one. I’ll give you a free ride around town and a huge fish and chip supper, for your trouble.”

 

“Make it two fish and chip suppers and you’re on.” Squawked Laura Seagull – squawking is her only means of communication.

 

“Deal!” said  Big Billy Blue Bus. “Ring my bell and toot my hooter! Let’s go.”

 

Laura Seagull began bursting the balloons. It was like a mild thunderstorm without rain. She loved doing it.

 

“The best thing to do with your beak apart from eating fish and chips” she said.

 

Gently, very gently, as each balloon burst, Big Billy Blue Bus and his passengers dropped closer to Tummity-tum on Sea’s Main Street, until he stood neatly on the road outside Mr Izzy’s Magic Shop. The passengers gave a massive cheer and sang “Big Billy Blue Bus is a jolly good fellow” and gave him three cheers. He turned into a Big Billy Red Bus with embarrassment.

 

From there he took all his passengers back to where he picked them up. Everyone was given a balloon. All mums were given a bunch of flowers and a very special gift – a handbag of their choice. I wonder how long it took them to fill them again

 

Mummy Custard and her family were last to get off

 

“Ding! Dong!” Rang Big Billy Blue Bus’ Bell. “Tootity toot!” went his hooter.

 

“Thank you Big Billy Blue Bus. I have never been on a more Magical or Mysterious Mother’s Day Tour ever. Thank you!

 

“Ding! Dong!” Rang Big Billy Blue Bus’ Bell. “Tootity toot!” went his hooter.

 

“Hasn’t today been the most exciting ‘Big Billy Blue Bus’ Magical Mystery Mother’s Day Tour ever?” said Big Billy Blue Bus as Joe the Driver put him to bed in the garage. “And I really like flying in the clouds. Can we do it again sometime?”

 

“I’m not so sure. I prefer to stay on the ground where I can hold Hold very tightly.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I was a lad at school around 13 years old, our Maths teacher used to call me Wol. At the end of the year as we were moving up a class I plucked up courage to ask why he called me Wol. He told meit was thename of the deslexic owl in Winnie the Pooh. With my Harry Potter glasses he said I looked like the Wise Old Owl in the Winnie the Pooh stories.

 

Being the vain person I am I took it as a compliment

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