BIG BILLY BLUE BUS' PANCAKE SPLODGE

22 February 2017

 

BIG BILLY BLUE BUS' PANCAKE SPLODGE

 

Big Billy Blue Bus Looked out to sea over the sandy beach. He knew he was one cool bus. A blue Old Bill double decker bus. His mission was running round the town every day. Once every hour.

 

His best mate, driver Joe polished the lens on Big Billy Blue Bus’ spectacles that clipped over his bonnet  enabling his headlamp eyes to see more clearly in the light and dark.

 

 “Ding Dong” Rang Big Billy Blue Bus’ bell.

 

“Tooty Tooty” went his hooter

 

“I’m so excited.” Big Billy Blue Bus said to Driver Joe.

 

He then rushed up the hill to the light house. The first stop of the day.

 

Mrs Custard who owned the café on the sea front was his first passenger

 

“Good Morning Mrs Custard.” Said Big Billy Blue Bus. “I am so excited.”

 

Mrs Custard carefully took her normal seat down stairs on Big Billy Blur Bus. She did not like going upstairs the wind messed up her beautifully neat hair.

 

“You are always excited.” Said Mrs Custard.

 

“Yes but today I am more excited than usual.” Said Big Billy Blue Bus.

 

And his bell rang again and his hooter tooted, just to prove it.

 

“Today is Pancake Day.” Said Driver Joe. “He always gets extra excited on Pancake Day.”

 

“Yes! Yes!” Big Billy Blue Bus tooted. “There is the big pancake race on the beach. Lots of people to carry all day.”

 

“Oh no!” Cried Mrs Custard. “Stop this bus, this minute.”

 

She stood up and rang Big Billy Blue Bus’ bell repeatedly.

 

“Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong!  Ding-dong! Dingle-dongle!”

 

“What on earth’s a matter Mrs Custard? I can’t just stop anywhere.” Said Big Billy Blue Bus

 

“I forgot it was Pancake Day and I have not ordered the ingredients for the pancakes. There will not be Great Tumity-Tum on Sea Pancake Race.” Said Mrs Custard.

 

“Don’t worry.” Said Big Billy Blue Bus. “Sit down and relax. I’m sure we can fix it.”

 

By this time Big Billy Blue Bus was at his next stop. The Mill.

 

Mrs White the millers wife was waiting to catch Big Billy Blue Bus. She liked to be on the front row for Great Tumity-Tum on Sea Pancake Race.

 

Normally she liked to sit upstairs. But Mrs Custard dragged her inside to tell her her dilemma.

 

Mr White the miller, came to see his wife off.

 

Big Billy Blue Bus, told him of Mrs Custard’s problem.

 

“As it happens.” Said Mr White, “ I thought she would need some flour, so I have ten sacks in my mill. If driver Joe helps me we could put them on your upper deck and you could take them into town for her.”

 

“Ding Dong” Rang Big Billy Blue Bus’ bell.

 

“Tooty Tooty” went his hooter.

 

Very soon the ten sacks of flour were all sitting on seats on the top deck of Big Billy Blue Bus. They looked like very pale, sickly people who had never seen the sun.

 

“Ding Dong” Rang Big Billy Blue Bus’ bell. “Hold very tightly!” called Driver Joe. And away Big Billy Blue Bus sped.

 

The next stop was the dairy where all the milk was taken from the farm. The dairymen put it into bottles and the milkmen delivered it to shops, supermarkets and homes..

 

“Ding Dong” Rang Big Billy Blue Bus’ bell.

 

“Tooty Tooty” went his hooter

 

“I’m so excited.” he said to Mr Shake the milkman waiting at the stop.

 

“You are always excited. I’ve just delivered all my milk, now, please, take me to Mrs Custard’s Jelly Berger Bar for my breakfast.” Said Mr Shake the Milkman.

 

“On one condition,” Said Big Billy Blue Bus. “That you supply Mrs Custard with the milk she needs for her pancakes.

 

“I’d be delighted.” Said Mr Shake. “Infact, I have five churns full of my best milk. Milk from the very best cows. I was surprised she had not asked before.”

 

“I’ll give you a hand to carry them on to the top deck.” Said Driver Joe. “They can sit next to the sacks of flour.”

 

 “Ding Dong” Rang Big Billy Blue Bus’ bell as the last churn was put comfortably on the seat.

 

“Hold very tightly!” called Driver Joe. And away Big Billy Blue Bus sped.

 

Mr Duckbill, the farmer put out his hand to stop Big Billy Blue Bus outside Pink Barn Farm

 

“Ding Dong” Rang Big Billy Blue Bus’ bell.

 

“Tooty Tooty” went his hooter

 

“I’m so excited.” he said to Mr Duckbill.

 

“So am I.” Said Mr Duckbill. “Because it’s market day. Come on Big Billy Blue Bus. Let’s go.”

 

“Just a minute.” Said Driver Joe. “There’s no market today. It is always cancelled for the Pancake Race.”

 

“Oh no!” Said Farmer Duckbill. He was very disappointed. “I forgot.”

 

“So did Mrs Custard,” said Big Billy Blue Bus. “And she’s supposed to be making the pancakes.”

 

“We were hoping you would have some eggs to help her out.” Said Driver Joe.

 

“I’ve got some. But not enough. Maybe if I could bring all my hens with me and let them ride on the top deck, by the time we get to Mrs Custard’s Jelly Berger Bar we will have enough eggs.” said Farmer Duckbill.

 

“I’ll help you catch them.” Said Driver Joe.

 

“Ding Dong” rang Big Billy Blue Bus’ bell as the last churn was put comfortably on the seat.

 

“Hold very tightly!” called Driver Joe. And away Big Billy Blue Bus sped.

 

Each sack of flour and each churn of milk now had a small basket of eggs by their side. A hen sat on top of each sack and on the top of each urn. So if you did not know better you would think Big Billy Blue Bus was carrying lots of old lady passengers with feathery hats and baskets of shopping chattering to one another.

 

Up the hill Driver Joe drove Big Billy Blue Bus. Down the other side. through the valley. By the river into the town.

 

“Ding Dong” rang Big Billy Blue Bus’ bell.

 

“Tooty Tooty” went his hooter as he passed the shops

 

“I’m so excited.” he said to Mrs Splodge. She stood at the stop outside her shop. In her shop she sold foods she made or grew herself.

 

“I’m not.” She said. She looked very sad.

 

“Why what is wrong.?” Asked Big Billy Blue Bus, very concerned.

 

“I have lots of Jellies, jams, apples, strawberries, ice creams,  treacle, syrup, custard, porridge, and gravy I have made as toppings for Mrs Custard’s pancakes. But I’ve heard people say she is not making any pancakes.

 

“Do not worry.” Said Big Billy Blue Bus. “Mrs Custard is on the bus. We have collected all she needs for her pancakes. So top up the top deck with your toppings and Mrs Custard will make the pancakes and add your toppings. I can assure you the Tummity-Tum on Sea Pancake Race will take place as usual.”

 

“Oh I am so pleased.” Said Mrs Splodge as she and Driver Joe loaded up Big Billy Blue Bus.

 

“Ding Dong” rang Big Billy Blue Bus.’ 

 

“Hold very tightly!” called Driver Joe. And away Big Billy Blue Bus sped.

 

Last stop Mrs Custard’s Jelly Berger Bar on the sea front.

 

People had already started to gather

 

Big Billy Blue Bus sped round the corner to the sea front. On the left side of the road were his friends the donkeys on the golden beach. Already people were beginning to gather for the pancake race.

 

Beyond the golden sand was a grey choppy sea. Above it a cold grey sky.

 

“Ding Dong” rang Big Billy Blue Bus’ bell.

 

“Tooty Tooty” went his hooter. He could see Mrs Custard’s Jelly Berger bar just down the road.

 

“We’ve done it, Mrs Custard.” Said Big Billy Blue Bus “We’ve got all the ingredient for the pancakes and about to deliver them to your Jelly Berger Bar.”

 

“And my hens have laid the extra eggs you needed,” Said Farmer Duckbill.

 

“Oh, thank you. You are all so wonderful. Thank you! Thank you!” said Mrs Custard, almost in tears of joy.

 

But as she spoke Big Billy Blue Bus was watching Zac and Lizzie the Greenbottom twins running along the pavement in front of the shop with their dog named Yap. Suddenly Yap broke free. He had seen a seagull sitting on the top of a donkey’s head. He could not miss the chance to race across the road to chase it.

 

He ignored Big Billy Blue Bus.

 

Driver Joe slammed on Big Billy Blue Bus’ brakes. “Toot! Toot! Toot!” went Big Billy Blue Bus’ hooter Big Billy Blue Bus’ wheels squealed as he tried his hardest to stop. He did not want to hurt Yap.

 

He managed  to stop just in time. But there was a huge crashing and splodging noise noise from his top deck. And a “screarmash” noise. And a “chunky, chink, churn” noise. And the greatest clucking and squawking noise you’ve every did hear.

 

Big Billy Blue Bus’ top deck felt quelchy, goohy and horrible.

 

Driver Joe climbed out of his cab. He started to climb up the stairs to look. Hens surfed down to meet him on a sea of milk, flour and broken eggs.

 

“Oh no!” cried Driver Joe. All the ingredients have fallen off the seats and become all mixed up together in one great big splodgy mixture.”

 

“Toot Tooy” went Big Billy Blue Bus’ hooter with a sad sound. “I’m not so excited, any more.” He stuttered.

 

“There really won’t be a Tummity Tum on Sea Pancake Race now.”

 

“Just a minute.” Said Mrs Custard. She dipped her finger in the mixture. “This looks and tastes just like my mixture. No, I am mistaken. It tastes better than my pancake mixture.”

 

I’ll get a brand new wheelbarrow from Mr Nailem’s DIY shop. She did and with Joe the driver’s help moved the pancake mixture from the top of Big Billy Blue Bus and into the kitchen of Mrs Custard’s Jelly Berger Bar.

 

For the rest of the day as Big Billy Blue Bus drove passengers around Tummity-tum on Sea, there was no one mentioned of smelling the sea salt air as they normally did. Instead all commented about smelling the delicious pancake mixture. I wonder why?

 

And the Tummity-tum on Sea Pancake Race went ahead with the most delicious pancakes ever.

 

“Ding! Dong!” Rang Big Billy Blue Bus’ Bell. “Tootity toot!” went his hooter.

 

“Hold very tightly!” Called out Joe the Driver.

 

“Hasn’t today been the most exciting Pancake Day ever?” Asked Big Billy Blue Bus as Joe the Driver put him to bed in the garage.

© 2017 www.jeanniejeanniejeannie.co.uk – Phil Robinson

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When I was a lad at school around 13 years old, our Maths teacher used to call me Wol. At the end of the year as we were moving up a class I plucked up courage to ask why he called me Wol. He told meit was thename of the deslexic owl in Winnie the Pooh. With my Harry Potter glasses he said I looked like the Wise Old Owl in the Winnie the Pooh stories.

 

Being the vain person I am I took it as a compliment

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