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jeanniejeanniejeannie.co.uk  Children's Books & Writing Stories Once upon a time...

AUGUST 2017

Grandad's Blog of the Day

WEDESDAY 16th AUGUST 2017

 

 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

If you are going through hell, keep going - Winston Churchill

 

HAPPINESS IS…

Happiness is ... relaxing and listening to Elvis's 50 Greatest Hits on vinyl

 

GRANDAD’S ONE LINER JOKE OF THE DAY

 

Homer: Marge, I can’t wear a pink shirt to work. Everybody wears white shirts. I’m not popular enough to be different.

MONDAY 14th AUGUST 2017

 

 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

 "The only way to do great work is to love what you do." - Steve Jobs

 

HAPPINESS IS…

Happiness is ... listening to 1960s Offshore Pirate Radio

 

GRANDAD’S ONE LINER JOKE OF THE DAY

 

 Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off.

 

<< New text box >>

SUNDAY 13th AUGUST 2017

 

IS ONE PICTURE WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS?

 

This is George's Sister Freya on the beautiful beach at Trevone, Nr Padstow, Cornwall. So this picture is definitely worth 1,000 words. Photo credits: C Reed

 

1 year old George and 2 year old Ewan are giving Grandad a week off and giving their veiw about their Cornish holiday.

 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

According to scientists at University College, London, the five critical ‘life skills’ that you need to succeed are: emotional stability, determination, control, optimism and conscientiousness.

 

HAPPINESS IS…

Happiness is ...lazing on a Cornish beach

 

GRANDAD’S ONE LINER JOKE OF THE DAY

 

The early bird gets the worm but the late worm gets to live.

 

 

 

 

1,000 WORDS - A Photo

1 PHOTOGRAPH

 

SATURDAY 12th th AUGUST 2017

 

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS

Or is it?

 

This haunting images from the 1970s is one of a set taken by Peter Mitchell, a lorry driver who took the photos as he journeyed around West Yorkshire. 

 

This photographdoes speal a thousand words but to me inspires 1,000 stories: about the couple who own the newsagents and their troubles and problems, about each one of their customers who live around the area of the shop and their troubles and problems, the mischeavous paperboys and the people who attend the church and what the area is like today. And where has the other half of the building gone?

 

Alan Bennett comes from Leeds, there is no wonder he is filled with inspiration.

 

I so love this photograph. One of my most favourite ever.

 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

 "It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark." - Howard Ruff

 

HAPPINESS IS…

Happiness is ...a newsagent's shop rich in customer characters

 

GRANDAD’S ONE LINER JOKE OF THE DAY

 A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

 

 

1,000 WORDS - A Photo

1 PHOTOGRAPH

 

THURSDAY 10th AUGUST 2017

 

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS

 

This picture of a cinema in Brighton conjures up far more than a 1,000 words could ever be capable of!

 

 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Life is a series of family photos in which you keep moving to the rear until finally you're a portrait in the background. ~Robert Brault

 

HAPPINESS IS…

Happiness is ...a beautiful book

 

GRANDAD’S ONE LINER JOKE OF THE DAY

 Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

 

READ ALL THE GRAGS OF THE DAY 

1,000 WORDS - A Photo

1 PHOTOGRAPH

 

WEDNESDAY 9th AUGUST 2017

 

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS

 

The Storytelling Chair in a Robin Hood's Bay coffee shop. But I've not heard it tell a story yet. How many words is this picture worth?

 

 

 

 

 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

When you stumble make it part of the dance.... Everyone messes up. It's part of the dance of life.... So the next time you stumble, smile at the crowd, kick up your heels, and dance a jig! The moment you embrace it as your own, no one will know it's not part of your dance. ~Suzy Toronto

 

HAPPINESS IS…

 

Happiness is ...having a story telling chair

 

GRANDAD’S ONE LINER JOKE OF THE DAY

The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".

1000 WORDS - A Photo

1 PHOTOGRAPH

TUESDAY 8th AUGUST 2017

 

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS

 

Two ducks at Newstead Abbey: 

 

One says:"Oh, no it's that guy with the camera again. Keep your head down and pretend you ain't seen him."

 

 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Live every day on a fresh new start. Don't be held back by what happened yesterday, the day before, the year before, or even decades ago. Life is short, so live in the present moment. 

 

HAPPINESS IS…

 

Happiness is…hiding your head under your wing if you are a duck, goose, swan chicken or any bird.

 

GRANDAD’S ONE LINER JOKE OF THE DAY

 

 I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?" I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".

 

 

1000 WORDS - A Photo

1 PHOTOGRAPH

 

MONDAY 7th AUGUST 2017

 

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS

 

A roof of umbrellas, what does that tell you?

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Epicurus: Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.

 

HAPPINESS IS…

 

Happiness is…Sharing an umbrella.

 

GRANDAD’S ONE LINER JOKE OF THE DAY

 

 

Four fonts walk into a bar the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

1000 WORDS - A Photo

1 PHOTOGRAPH

 

SUNDAY 6th AUGUST 2017

 

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS

 

 

 

This picture is a white horse who went into a bar for a double whiskey. the bar man says what sort do you want? Teachers, Grouse, Johnny Walker or there's even one named after you.

 

"What?" Said the horse, Eric?"

 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage -Anais Nan

 

HAPPINESS IS…

 

Happiness is…a white horse...in a bar

 

GRANDAD’S ONE LINER JOKE OF THE DAY

 

The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself "This changes everything."

.

1 PHOTOGRAPH 1000 WORDS

 

SATURDAY  5th AUGUST 2017

 

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS

 

This picture of a bridge at Bakewell bearing love locks like the ones in Paris over the Seine probably is. But I am sure each lock has lots of words to their stories that could not be told in a picture.

 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Not all who wander are lost - J R R Tolkien

 

HAPPINESS IS…

 

Happiness is…just being in love

 

GRANDAD’S ONE LINER JOKE OF THE DAY

 

Childs experience: if a mother is laughing at the fathers jokes, it means they have guests.

.

1 PHOTOGRAPH 1000 WORDS

 

FRIDAY  4th AUGUST 2017

 

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS

 

I could easily write more than a thousand words about this ship carrying a patchwork of I think 1,000 containers. What secrets and adventures does each container hold

 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

 "The best dreams happen when you're awake." - Cherie Gilderbloom

 

HAPPINESS IS…

 

Happiness is…SUNSHINE, after RAIN

 

GRANDAD’S ONE LINER JOKE OF THE DAY

 

My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the local zoo.

.

 

300WORDS

1 PHOTOGRAPH

 

THURSDAY 3rd AUGUST 2017

 

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS

 

Yesterday my daily blog post was 1,000 words. And many say “A photograph is worth a thousand words”.

I wonder is it? I am a wordsmith and I love words. But I an a photographer I love taking photographs, too.

 

The phrase “One Look Is Worth A Thousand Words,” first appeared in a 1913 newspaper advertisement for the Piqua Auto Supply House of Piqua, Ohio, but ironically uses only words, not images, to invite prospective customers to see its products in their store.

 

We’ve come to accept “a picture is worth a thousand words” as truth in our culture because of the ability of a photo to quickly convey so much meaning with so little, if any, explanation. But in the age of social media and cameras on mobile devices, when photos are shared with more regularity than ever, does the powerful ability of a single image to convey so much feeling, information and complexity get taken for granted?

 

A look back at the earliest known uses of the phrase will remind us of the specialness of the photos we share.

 

One of the earliest known references to the expression was a 1911 newspaper article in which newspaper editor Arthur Brisbane, speaking about journalism and publicity, says “Use a picture. It’s worth a thousand words.”

 

Today everyone says that good photographs are vital in blogs and on websites. But Ofcom have published a report that says users are divided about whether they will post pictures of children or people on social media. I personally mainly do not.

 

But I often take photographs that hopefully tell a story.

 

So, I thought as a change of gear, I will post a photograph as my daily blog post in place of a thousand words.

 

I wonder can I survive without the words?

 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

 

A vision is like a dream – it will disappear unless we do something with it. Do something big or do something small. But stop wondering and go on an adventure.

 

 

 

HAPPINESS IS…

 

Happiness is…taking a beautifully satisfyingly creative photograph

 

GRANDAD’S ONE LINER JOKE OF THE DAY

 

Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he replied.

with text >>

 

1,000 WORDS

 

WEDNESDAY 2nd AUGUST 2017

 

THE YELLOW ROLLS ROYCE PHANTON V

 

John Lennon bought a traditional new black Rolls Royce Phantom V in 1965. In 1967 he had it sprayed yellow and covered with a psychedelic pattern . (See Picture of the Week II)

 

In the 50 years since it outraged the Establishment, Lennon's Rolls-Royce Phantom V is now embraced as a masterpiece of design and a jewel of the Swinging Sixties. After nearly four decades spent in North America, where it was housed in a number of museums, the one of a kind vehicle is making its grand English homecoming as part of Rolls-Royce's new exhibition, "The Great Eight Phantoms." Between July 29th and August 2nd, Phantoms owned by the likes of Queen Elizabeth II and Fred Astaire will be on display at Bonhams flagship saleroom and galleries in London to celebrate the launch of the Phantom VIII, the latest incarnation of the 92-year-old model.

 

"You swine! How dare you do that to a Rolls-Royce!" So screamed an outraged Englishwoman as John Lennon's Phantom V cruised past on London's posh Piccadilly promenade in the summer of 1967. The ornately decorated limousine, sprayed an electric yellow and bedecked with colorful floral tendrils, Romany scrolls and zodiac symbols like a hallucinatory gypsy caravan, so offended her sensibilities that she briefly attacked it with an umbrella – or at least that's the way Lennon always told the story.

 

Giles Taylor, design director for Rolls-Royce, told Rolling Stone magazine. "It's like putting graffiti on Buckingham Palace. You're getting close to the nerve of British elegance, British politeness and good British manners."

 

Commissioned in 1965 from R.S. Mead Ltd., the custom-made Phantom V would take six months to complete. Its chassis was manufactured at the Rolls-Royce factory in Crewe, Cheshire, and in late January 1965 work began on the bespoke limousine carriage at Mulliner Park Ward in Willesden, Northwest London. For all of the paperwork accumulated during the car's construction, the total price of the vehicle is not recorded. An educated guess from historian Steve Clifford, put the figure at around  £11,000 pounds (nearly $240,000 in today's value). However, with publicity at a premium and Lennon being one of the most famous people on the planet, odds are good that he received some sort of Beatle discount.

 

Ironic as Lennon was unable to drive when he first ordered the Phantom V. He wouldn't pass his "L-test" until February 15th, 1965 aged 24. That same day the Beatles began work on a new song, "Ticket to Ride," a prophetic title considering the number of citations Lennon eventually racked up during his road hours. By all accounts – including his own – he was a horrendous driver, far too myopic to read signs, too distracted to recall routes, and too impractical to troubleshoot even the simplest mechanical issue.

 

He employed the services of a six-foot-four Welsh guardsman named Les Anthony, whose large frame made him an effective bodyguard as well as driver, on permanent call for £36 a week.  He was on hand to receive the finished Phantom V on June 3rd, 1965, at R.S. Mead. Bearing the registration plates "FJB 111C," the enormous vehicle measured 19’ 10” long, and 6’ 7” wide. Tipping the scales at nearly 3 metric tons, it didn't roll so much as glide. Not yet emblazoned with the Romany paintjob, the exterior was finished in a somber "Valentine Black".

 

"John's Rolls was all black – even the wheels," said Anthony "The only bit of chrome on it was the radiator. He told me he'd wanted that to be black as well, but the Rolls people wouldn't do it."

 

Lennon ramped up 20,000 miles by the end 196. With his first solo acting role in How I Won the War required him to shoot on location in Spain for six weeks , he had Anthony make the 1,400-mile drive to meet him with the Phantom V.

 

The filmmaking process  proved tedious and unfulfilling for Lennon, and the Rolls served as a comfortable cocoon that he, according to McCartney, "he virtually lived in it, to while away the hours in the backseat, smoking marijuana, and tinkering with lyrics for a melancholic new song provisionally called "It's Not Too Bad." After a lengthy process of finessing, the composition was given the better known title: "Strawberry Fields Forever."

 

Exactly how Lennon decided on the lurid Romany floral/zodiac hybrid is subject to some debate. Anthony recalls Ringo Starr planting the seed of the idea in early 1967. "We were passing the fairground one day and they were admiring the fairground decorations and gypsy caravans. Ringo said why not have the Rolls painted the same way. John thought it was a great idea." However, others say the idea was suggested by Marijke Koger of the Dutch design collective the Fool – who would also paint Lennon's piano that summer – after Lennon commissioned a refurbished 1874 gypsy caravan as a present for his young son, Julian.

 

Doubtful that Rolls-Royce themselves would ever submit to such a drastic makeover of one of their prized vehicles, Lennon paid a visit to private coach makers J.P. Fallon Ltd. in Chertsey on April 8th, 1967, to discuss the design. After spraying the body of the car yellow, local artist Steve Weaver was tasked with painting the red, orange, green and blue art nouveau swirls, floral side panels and Lennon's astrological symbol, Libra, on the roof. On May 24th, Weaver submitted an invoice for £290 and the following day the car was ready for pickup. Predictably, the unveiling of the way-out Rolls drew the world's press. "The first time I drove it, I was followed by hordes of photographers and Pathé news," said Anthony.

 

Reactions were mixed, depending on which side of the generation gap you stood. The Daily Mail reported that the "shrieking yellow" vehicle elicited jeers from the assembled crowd, and the July 1967 issue of Beatles Book Monthly claimed that a local traffic official feared the loud colours would be a dangerous distraction to drivers on the road.

 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

 

Do a kind deed a day. What is something you can do today that will make the world a better place? Go and do it.

 

HAPPINESS IS…

 

Happiness is…composing Beatles songs in the back of a Rolls Royce Phantom V

 

GRANDAD’S ONE LINER JOKE OF THE DAY

 

He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library. ' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books. -Tommy Cooper

 

 

 

 

700 WORDS

TUESDAY 1st AUGUST 2017

 

THE LION AND ALBERT

 

When I read the hilarious Jim, by Mini Grey with words by Hilair Bellock it reminded me of the song I loved as a child “The Lion and Albert” by Stanley Holloway.

 

Stanley Holloway (1890–1982) was a comic singer, monologist and actor. He had a 54-year recording career, beginning in the age of acoustic recording, and ending in the era of the stereophonic LP.

 

He mainly recorded songs from musicals and revues, and he recited many monologues on various subjects. Most prominent among his recordings (aside from his participation in recordings of My Fair Lady) are those of three series of monologues that he made throughout his career. They featured Sam Small, Albert Ramsbottom, and historical events such as the Battle of Hastings, Magna Carta and the Battle of Trafalgar. In all, his discography runs to 130 recordings, spanning the period 1924 to 1978. But I cannot find the total number of records he actually sold.

 

The Lion and Albert written by Marriott Edgar and Holloway recorded it in 1932. It is available on the album/CD or download “Stanley Holloway The Essential Collection”

 

Here then, just for you is:

 

Albert And The Lion written by Marriott Edgar and recorded by Stanley Holloway. Enjoy

 

There's a famous seaside place called Blackpool

That's noted for fresh air and fun

And Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom

Went there with young Albert, their son.

A grand little lad were young Albert,

All dressed in his best, quite a swell,

With a stick with an 'orse's 'ead 'andle;

The finest that Woolworth's could sell.

They didn't think much to the ocean,

The waves they was piddlin' and small.

There was no wrecks and nobody drownded,

Fact, nothin' to laugh at at all!

So, seeking for further amusement,

They paid, and went into the zoo,

Where they'd lions and tigers and camels

And old ale and sandwiches, too.

There were one great big lion called Wallace;

His nose was all covered with scars.

He lay in a som-no-lent posture

With the side of 'is face on the bars.

Now Albert 'ad 'eard about lions --

'Ow they was ferocious and wild;

See Wallace lyin' so peaceful --

Well it didn't seem right to the child.

So straightway the brave little feller,

Not showin' a morsel of fear,

Took 'is stick with the 'orse's 'ead 'andle

And pushed it in Wallace's ear.

You could see that the lion didn't like it,

For givin' a kind of a roll,

'E pulled Albert inside the cage with 'im

And swallered the little lad 'ole!

Now Pa, 'oo 'ad seen the occurrence,

And didn't know what to do next,

Said, "Mother, yon lion's ate Albert!"

An' Mother said "Well, I am vexed."

Then Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom,

Quite rightly when all's said and done,

Complained to the animal keeper

That the lion 'ad eaten their son.

The keeper was quite nice about it;

He said "What a nasty mis'ap;

Are you sure it's your boy 'e's eaten?"

Pa said, "Am I sure? There's 'is cap!"

The manager 'ad to be sent for;

'E came and 'e said "Wot's to do?"

Pa said "Yon lion's ate Albert,

And 'im in 'is Sunday clothes, too!"

The Mother said "Right's right, young feller --

I think it's a shame and a sin

For a lion to go and eat Albert,

And after we've paid to come in."

The manager wanted no trouble;

He took out his purse right away,

Sayin' "'Ow much to settle the matter?"

Pa said "What do you usually pay?"

But Mother 'ad turned a bit awkward

When she thought where 'er Albert 'ad gone.

She said "No, someone's got to be summonsed!"

So that was decided upon.

And off they went to the police station

In front of a Magistrate chap;

They told 'im what 'appened to Albert,

And proved it by showing 'is cap.

The Magistrate gave 'is opinion

That no one was really to blame,

And 'e said that 'e 'oped the Ramsbottoms

Would 'ave further sons to their name.

At that Mother got proper blazin':

"And thank you, sir, kindly," said she --

"What, waste all our lives raisin' children

To feed ruddy lions? Not me!"

 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

 

When one door closes another opens. But often we look so long so regretfully upon the closed door that we fail to see the one that has opened for us. ~ Helen Keller

 

HAPPINESS IS…

 

Happiness is… a stick with an 'orse's 'ead 'andle; the finest that Woolworth's could sell and a lion.

 

GRANDAD’S ONE LINER JOKE OF THE DAY

 

My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof.

 

 

When I was a lad at school around 13 years old, our Maths teacher used to call me Wol. At the end of the year as we were moving up a class I plucked up courage to ask why he called me Wol. He told meit was thename of the deslexic owl in Winnie the Pooh. With my Harry Potter glasses he said I looked like the Wise Old Owl in the Winnie the Pooh stories.

 

Being the vain person I am I took it as a compliment

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