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EWAN & GEORGE'S NEWS BLOG

Ewan: 2½ years old, George 16 Months Review the news of the week

 

Wednesday 13th September 2017

 

 

EWAN & GEORGE BLOG TOGETHER

 

 

Ewan: 2½ years old & George 16 months old

Blogg about a couple of things in the news

 

IT'S GOOD NEWS WEEK

A WINDY START TO SCHOOL

 

George:                  Hi, George here. Welcome to my world. Won’t you come on in.

Ewan:                    Cut the crap, George. It’s not just your world, it’s mine too.

George:                  I’m just figuratively speaking. After all when we are talking NEWS & CURRENT AFFAIRS it’s everyone in the world’s world.

Ewan:                    You’re so, right George. Sometimes you are a real intellect.

                                Say you seen how Grandad has upgraded our ages?

George:                  Yeh, you are now 2½ years old and I’m 16 months old. But I don’t feel any older. I still feel the same as when I was 1 year old.

Ewan:                    And I definitely feel the same as when I was 2 years old. Infact I still feel 18 months in here.

George:                  I think the upgrade is a bit like the hurricane upgrades. Hurricane Jose has just been upgraded to a category 4. The higher the upgrade the faster the winds and the more destruction it causes.

Ewan:                    That makes sense of us being upgraded then, we are both capable of causing a load more disruption and damage than we were 6 months ago.

George:                  The news media has been filled with windy stories this week. What is a hurricane, Ewan?

Ewan:                    A wind that is so strong it blows down trees, fences, sheds and even houses.

George:                  Is it all down to the wolf blowing again.

Ewan:                    No, this is real weather, it even blows brick buildings down.

George:                  So the weather really does all that damage that is shown on TV news and it’s not special effects by the film makers.

Ewan:                    You are not allowed to use special effects when filming the news. It’s against the law.

George:                  What would happen if you were putting the news together and forgot and just by accident included a special effect.

Ewan:                    The Prime Minister would be very, very angry. She would say, “Go and sit on the naughty step and think about what you have done.”

George:                  Wow, then what?

Ewan:                    When they’ve sat and thought about it and they are truly sorry they have to go to every viewer and say they are sorry.

George:                  Will the hurricane blow our house down, Ewan?

Ewan:                    No, I don’t think so. You see the wind is in the Caribbean and America. It is caused because they have so many wolves and we only have a few, in country parks and zoos. America is along way away.

George:                  I know it’s further than the moon because we can see the moon but we can’t see America.

Ewan:                    So in America and the Caribbean the wind is strong enough to blows down buildings. But when it gets here it hardly has the strength to blow your hat off.

George:                  That reminds me of the second bit of news. Did you see Prince George starting school, just like Freya and Rory?

Ewan:                    Yes, that’s because it was National Big Brother and Big Sister Starts School Day.

George:                  Did you see his cap? Did Rory have one of those?

Ewan:                    Don’t be stupid. I think Prince George had to wear it in place of a crown because one day he might be King.

George:                  He has a sister named Princess Charlotte.

Ewan:                    I know, a bit posh.

George:                  Did you know it is law that all girls have to have a brother called George?

Ewan:                    Are you sure? Do you have evidence?

George:                  Overwhelming evidence. There is my sister Freya she has a brother named George, me. Princess Charlotte has a brother named George, Prince George. Grandad’s mum, my great grandma had a brother called George. Peppa Pig has a brother named George. And neither you nor Rory are named George because you don’t have a sister.

Ewan:                    Amazing George. That really is overwhelming evidence.

George:                  Well best go now, the wind is bad.

Ewan:                    It’s Ok, George, Hurricane Jose is not coming this way.

George:                  It’s not that sort of wind I’m worried about.

                              

 

Wednesday 6th September 2017

 

 

EWAN & GEORGE BLOG TOGETHER

 

 

Ewan: 2½ years old & George 16 months old

Blogg about a couple of things in the news

 

 

IT'S GOOD NEWS WEEK

 

Ewan:                    Hi George. This is going to be fun. We get to comment on what’s in the news every week.

 

George:                  Yep! Wowee. I’m under whelmed.

 

Ewan:                    I assure you it’ll be fun. Look at this, Wayne Rooney arrested for drink driving.

 

George:                  Yes, Grandad says it proves his point professional footballers are overpaid spoilt brats with no brains or football skills.

 

Ewan:                    I know, but I love playing with balls, particularly footballs and Grandad’s opinion spoils it for me.

 

George:                  He says he was OK with it when he was a kid, until money and greed killed the sport.

 

Ewan:                    Do you think he’s right, George.

 

George:                  This Rooney story makes you think so.  These footballers do set us a bad example. But do you know what Ewan?

 

Ewan:                    What George?

 

George:                  Let’s bring the joys of football back to Grandad.

 

Ewan:                    George, how exciting is that? Let’s set our goal (do you like that, play on words) as being the generation that brings back the skills of football to England and make footballing skills and the hunger to win, more important than the money.

 

George:                  Yeh! Right on! Make England the best and proudest footballing nation in the world, again.

 

Ewan:                    We’ll once again wear the England shirt with pride. Our generation will be the come back of good solid characters of football, like Stanley Matthews.

 

George:                  So who’s he then, Ewan.

 

Ewan:                    Don’t know, Grandad’s putting words in our blog again.

 

George:                  I share the name of one of the greatest ever football players. So we are off to a good start.

 

Ewan:                    What, Reed? Never heard of him.

 

George:                  No, stupid. George. George Best.

 

Ewan:                    Is that why your dad named you George, because your dad is mad on football.

 

George:                  Yes, I think so. What’s your dad mad on?

 

Ewan:                    Fish.

 

George:                  I suppose someone has to be. Are you named after a fish then?

 

Ewan:                    Dad wanted to call me Pike, but Mum won and named me after the film Trainspotting.

 

George:                  Oh! I’m off then, see yous.

 

Ewan:                    Bye! Bye!

 

George:                  Hey, wait there’s another bit of news worth commenting on.

 

Ewan:                    What’s that then, George?

 

George:                  The Royals, Kate and William have announced they are having another baby towards the end of April 2018.

 

Ewan:                    Why’s that even worth talking about?

 

George:                  Loads of reasons. It could be born on my birthday. It’s good for the baby brand. Focuses more attention on us as babies. Which has to be a good thing.

 

Ewan:                    Suppose.

 

George:                  And it is another opportunity for you or me to marry into the Royal Family.  The Royal Marriages Act of 1772 decrees royals can marry commoners.

 

Ewan:                    Are you common, then? I’m certainly not. I’m quite posh.

 

And do you really want to be part of the Royal Family. Once married to a royal, you cannot be active in politics, you realise?

 

George:                  I’d love to be Queen.

 

Ewan:                    But you wouldn’t be Queen, you’d be King.

 

George:                  But I want to be Queen. I so, love her doing Bohemian Rhapsody.

 

Ewan:                    Muppets do it better on YouTube.

 

George:                  Suppose. But if you are Queen you don’t have to go to school or go to work you live in a massive house with 775 rooms. I can’t even count to 5 let alone 775. Just think of playing hide and seek in there. At bedtime no one would ever find me.

 

She travels everywhere, even to the Post Office and Tesco in a golden coach pulled by horses.

 

Ewan:                    I think you’ll find she does her Tesco order online. If she went to Tesco, she’s so well known people would keep coming up to her saying: Hello, Mrs Queen and how are you today? Lovely weather for the time of year.

 

George:                  No, she wouldn’t because it most likely would be raining.

 

Ewan:                    So what would you do all day?

 

George:                  Have my photograph taken. She has loads taken every day. She the Selfie Queen has loads of selfies everyday but because she’s Queen she employs someone to take them for her.

 

                                I’m accustomed to that Grandad takes millions of me too. I’m well trained in that field.

 

Ewan:                    I know he takes loads of me too.

 

                                Irritating, isn’t he.

 

George:                  Not if it means you’ve not got to go to nursery, school or work for the rest of your life.

 

Ewan:                    Anyway, the new baby may be a boy and that scuppers your chances.

 

George:                  No. Have you not heard of “Gay Marriages”?.

 

Ewan:                    I don’t think it works like that, George. Let’s not go there.

 

George:                  Historical stuff, first gay monarch. Never before.

 

Ewan:                    George, enough!

 

George:                  My spouse would be 5th in line to throne. How exciting is that. I hate being youngest and bottom of the pile.

 

Ewan:                    Actually, your Mum and Dad might be inspired by the royal baby announcement to give you a brother or sister.

 

George:                  Wow, I hope so! I’d not be youngest in my close family. I would love someone to pick on. Yeh!

 

But don’t change the subject, just imagine Queen or King George. I do have a right royal name. It has such a familiar ring to it.

 

Ewan:                    Probably because there’s already been VI (six that is, King Georges).

 

George:                  But I would be the first Queen George.

 

Ewan:                    No! For the final time, George, you cannot be Queen unless you have a gender change.

 

George:                  But I do have the same name as a royal prince.

 

Ewan:                    What, Prince Reed?

 

George:                  No, stupid. Prince George of Cambridge, born 2013 and third in line to the throne.

 

Ewan:                    Is that why your mum and dad named you George, because they were keeping up with the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.

 

George:                  Ewan, for the last time. I was named after no one famous. I am me I’m special, I’m unique, I’m a one off, I’m an original. Named  to sum up me.

 

Ewan:                    George from Rainbow?

 

George:                  Who?

 

Ewan:                    George Lucas, your Dad loves Star Wars, George Clooney, George Michael, George…

 

George:                  La la! La la! Can’t hear. I’m gone

 

Ewan:                    George Harrison… Ok, Bye Bye

 

When I was a lad at school around 13 years old, our Maths teacher used to call me Wol. At the end of the year as we were moving up a class I plucked up courage to ask why he called me Wol. He told meit was thename of the deslexic owl in Winnie the Pooh. With my Harry Potter glasses he said I looked like the Wise Old Owl in the Winnie the Pooh stories.

 

Being the vain person I am I took it as a compliment

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