SURVIVING HOME ALONE                   19th November 2016

19th November 2016                                                         POST 111

 

BABY (I WAS BORN WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE) GEORGE'S BLOG

AGED 6 MONTHS

 

SUPER GEORGE - HOME ALONE

Welcome to my world, yes George’s World. I’m just six months old but I know where it’s at.

I think I freaked grandad and mamma out when I looked after them which I told you about in my last Blog. They seem to have avoided me since. But I still wish to make my presence felt. So I’m going it alone (but grandad still has to type it for me).

My life is full of fun, discovery and adventure. But I keep hearing some disturbing rumours and get these horrible vibes. After Freya has had her birthday and we celebrate this Christmas thing I have heard that my mum is going to be leaving me all day for four days a week! Left to fend for myself I assume.

Hel!, how will that work? I’ve never known a world without my mum.

Grandad doesn’t like using exclamation marks, but you can’t not here!

Dad often goes off to what he calls “wor”k. He obviously loves it as much as golf, rugby, football and his TV, because nothing stops him going.

But the only thing that has ever taken mum away has been having her hair done (that’s a stressful time). Or a night out with the girls. And dad’s always been there for me.

So mum’s leaving me everyday. I really will miss her. So why am I a little concerned?  What do I need mum for? I can sort most things myself, home alone.I’m happy sitting in my soiled nappy all day. I’m happy keeping myself occupied. All those interesting places they stop me getting into I will be able to explore with no one to stop me.

But my big worry is, and this is a biiggy, it seems to be so bad it makes me poo myself.: Who will feed me if mum’s not there? I can sort the rest.

I’ve been doing a little investigation and I think I know where they keep the carrots, its just the bottles that could be a problem.

I am starting to take in what I see on TV. There’s a lot of adverts for this Christmas thing. Most seem to be about grownups and children and this old fat guy, like grandad in a red suit giving presents away. But Aldi Supermarket is best. The main focus is carrots, the tastiest food in the world, ever. Certainly thing I have ever tasted in my life. Well done Aldi. I assume that is what this Christmas thing is all about. Carrots.

Anyway back to mum leaving me. But I’m sure I’ll sort it.

Oh just one drawback to all my plans, I can’t easily get around the house by myself. I suppose I can roll. But that is tedious. For ease I need to crawl. So that’s my target. Learn to crawl by Christmas. Grandad says you don’t get anywhere in this world until you learn to crawl.

As you know food is dear to me. It’s my life’s blood. I love it. As you also know mum and dad and sister Freya have just started giving me solids. But all I got was their leftovers, carrot broth and pear  soup. All mum’s own work. But she’s no Jamie Oliver or Gordon Ramsey (although her language is as bad as his).

But this week my mum came up with Ella’s Kitchen “Carrots, Peas and Pears” It was AMAZING. I have never tasted anything like it since I left the womb. I do not know who Ella is but I am scrutinising everyone who comes to our house. I want to go and live with Ella. Dad says its an instant microwave meal. I’ve heard university students live on microwave meals. If so I can’t wait to be a student.

One of my favourite groups we go to is “Caterpillar Music” at Swinderby. I love it. Today mum said she had a new outfit for me. I thought it might be the Joules top grandad has been going on about “I still live with my parents”. I was thinking I hope not because it would be such a waste of money, as I probably won’t be living with parents in January. If mum’s giving up on me, with my new found independence I may move out.

Mum took me to this telephone box (there’s not many around these days, it took a lot of finding) and dressed me in this superb Superman costume. Can you see my photo. No, that’s not the real Superman, it’s me George. The resemblance is uncanny. And get this as you can see, flying comes naturally. Mum wouldn’t let me fly though. She said: “You need to crawl before you can walk and walk before you can run and run before you can fly”.

We then went on to our music group. I got major respect in my new uniform. I hope I wear it every week.

We sang songs. I might get more out of that when I can talk and actually sing. There were these puppets I love puppets, they are like my toys but special magic fairy dust has been thrown over them and they have come to life. That’s what mum says, anyway. I let her believe that, I don’t want to spoil the magical illusion for her, but between you and me, a lady operates them and makes them work.

There’s a bubble machine, too. I love bubbles I could watch them all day, and often do They are like stars but soapier, millions of them all holding there own secrets.

And then best of all the musical instruments. I love how noisy they are. I need to make a record (as grandad says but I think his terminology is very old fashioned. No body makes records any more). Do you think I am too late to be a contender for the Christmas No.1. Super George Yeh! Yeh! Yeh!

 

When I was a lad at school around 13 years old, our Maths teacher used to call me Wol. At the end of the year as we were moving up a class I plucked up courage to ask why he called me Wol. He told meit was thename of the deslexic owl in Winnie the Pooh. With my Harry Potter glasses he said I looked like the Wise Old Owl in the Winnie the Pooh stories.

 

Being the vain person I am I took it as a compliment

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