22nd April 2017
AGED 11 MONTHS
Hi, and welcome to my world, won’t you come on in.
Grandad’s always teaching me new stuff. I don’t know why. Does he not know I have a lot of gut instinct. This week’s lesson apart from many others is on how to creep. Not on all fours the other sort, to get round people – to creep to you as my blog reader. He says you’ll like the blog better if it’s shorter, funnier and more to the point. Ok. We’ll see then.
I’ve seen a lot of Mamma and Grandad this week. I saw them Easter Sunday. Now what a non event day that was for a not-quite-one-year-old. It’s a good job I saw Mamma and Grandad and my uncle and auntie and cousins to liven it up.
Apparently this Easter Bunny comes in the night on Easter Day and leaves you loads of chocolate eggs. That is fine if you are allowed to eat the chocolate but at under one you are heavily restricted.
I stayed awake a lot through the night, I was nervous about a rabbit having free run of my toys whilst everyone was sleeping. I can’t see a rabbit respecting toys too much. But I saw no bunny. Yet there were chocolate eggs left for us in the kitchen. So, what’s that all about? How did that happen? Sister Freya ate lots. I will when I’m four years old like Sister Freya. You have so much fun when you are four.
At the moment I feel there is a lot of pressure on me to act my age. That means being very mischievous and naughty all the time and finding trouble and getting into trouble. Believe it or not it takes a lot of effort and tires me out.
I try to wake up early in a morning between 4.30am and 5.30am, for my parent’s sake. I’d feel as though I was letting them down if I didn’t wake so early.
The next major thing is to produce a massive poo explosion just as they are going out to work. I have to say that takes hard work, concentration and effort to pull it off. It doesn’t come easily or automatically.
Next I have to plan my day of trouble to cause. Every day has to be different or grown ups cotton on and put things where you can’t get at them like cables, remotes telephones and mouth sized things that shouldn’t go in your mouth because they get stuck in the throat.
You have to think of original places to fall and bang your head otherwise grown ups are so quick thinking they are there before you and prevent it. They just don’t seem to realise you want the experience and adrenaline rush.
Sometimes I wish I could just get up and have a relaxing day and not have to think of things to do to get into mischief , but then I take a grip of myself and think: No don’t go wasting your life.
The reason I love to babysit Mamma and Grandad is because they are so slow and naive I do not have to work so hard at getting into trouble. This week I did a brilliant one. Simply the best ever. I got almost to the top of their stairs before they realised. Each thought the other was watching me. You can never pull that one with Mum and Dad. They are too sharp.
On Thursday Mamma and Freya went on the bus into Newark and me and Grandad walked to meet them. Well I use the term walk loosely. Grandad walked, pushed me in the buggy because I can’t yet quite walk by myself. I feel I can. I stand holding the chair then move forward but my legs and feet don’t follow and I fall flat on my face. I suppose it could hurt if I let it. My feet and legs just seem to buckle. Will I ever walk? What happens if I don’t pull it off? Mind you I don’t think I shall have much choice with Grandad’s boot camp mentality, making me practise all the time.
So what I am saying is Grandad did all the walking. But again that puts additional pressure on me. If I don’t keep him awake he’d fall asleep standing upright pushing the buggy, but carry on walking in auto pilot, to Nottingham, Lincoln, London, Brighton, France, USA, Australia, even the moon if you left him long enough. So I came up with this clapping game. Now and again I’d clap, he then gave the buggy a huge push forward, do clapper cake and the buggy rolled gently back to him.
That was great when we were going up hill. Even better going down hill as the buggy with me in it gathered speed going down hill and Grandad running after me and the buggy trying to catch it. I did laugh to see such fun. Brilliant, and so mischievous without having to think about it. And it meant I was star of my own Top Gear stunt and not yet one year old. I sure did laugh. And boy do I know how to laugh.
Grandad says I’ve got to finish now or you, the reader will get bored. I’m sure you won’t but I don’t want to annoy you.
So, Bye, Bye.
©2017 www.jeanniejeanniejeannie.co.uk – Phil Robinson
When I was a lad at school around 13 years old, our Maths teacher used to call me Wol. At the end of the year as we were moving up a class I plucked up courage to ask why he called me Wol. He told meit was thename of the deslexic owl in Winnie the Pooh. With my Harry Potter glasses he said I looked like the Wise Old Owl in the Winnie the Pooh stories.
Being the vain person I am I took it as a compliment
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