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41 MAMMA IN HOSPITAL MYSTERY

6th JULY 2017 2017

 

EWAN & THE MAMMA'S IN HOSPITAL MYSTERY

 

Hi Ewveryonr, Ewan here.

 

As usual there has been a lot going on in my life this week.

 

A week ago I went with Mum and Dad to the seaside and caught some crabs and played in the sand and swam in the sea or paddled as they seem to refer to it at Filey. We went to see or is that sea lots of fish too at a Sea Life place. My favourite fish is a turtle.

 

Mamma was sent to hospital and because of that we had to throw everything that was in Granny’s garage into a skip.

 

Don’t ask me. I do not know what the connection was either.

 

I was so excited clearing the garage because everything was so old. Thousands and millions of years old.  I thought we might find some dinosaur eggs. Dinosaurs sometimes laid their eggs in a nest but often they would hide them in old sheds and garages, where they thought no one could find them. One was once found in an old disused white transit van.

 

Granny has a pond in her garden too. A big pond, no not just big but a huge pond. A massive pond, this big. She has some carp fish in the pond. One is 23 years old. That must be very old as old as my Grandad because Dad marvels at it being so old. I know it’s old because it cannot walk very well, and old things can’t walk very well.

 

I think there must be sharks in the pond too because no one would let me and Brother Rory or my cousins go any where near it. They said it was too dangerous. Brother Rory says the only thing that makes water dangerous is sharks and piranha fish. Brother Rory knows everything about sea creatures.

 

So why did Mamma go into hospital. I heard Mum say because she had pneumonia. But I think Mum got that wrong. Mamma is old, so she couldn’t get pneumonia it must be oldmonia. She has a cough. You don’t go to hospital just with a cough. I’ve had millions of coughs and I know that usually you do not go to hospital just because you are coughing.

 

I think Mamma had a baby. Mum went into hospital when she had me and Auntie Nannan did to get George. Auntie Parveen did to have Amani.  So it’s obvious really. But she didn’t get a fat tummy before she went in  like Mum and Auntie Nannan. The thing is I know Mamma well and I know she wouldn’t let herself get fat, she is too proud. I think she made Grandad get fat for her. And he would because Grandad would do anything for Mamma even get fat.

 

Grandad’s tum is bigger than Mum’s and Auntie Nannan’s put together when they were having babies said my Dad. But if that was so you’d think it would be Grandad who would have gone into hospital.

 

Brother Rory and Cousin Freya were allowed to go and see Mamma in hospital and me and Cousin George were not. I think that’s because we are still in the guarantee period and if Mum and Dad and Uncle Col and Auntie Nannan had taken us back to the hospital the hospital would have kept us and given them a refund. So best not chance it. They’ve invested a lot of money in us by way of toys, nursery equipment, food, nursery fees, photographs and clothes and hours and hours of lost sleep. So you can understand their concerns and why they decided to take no risks.

 

But Mamma came out on Tuesday and I was allowed to go and see her at her home. But I was quite surprised, she had no new baby.

 

I think she probably gave it away because we have loads of babies in our family and there was not room for even more.

 

I was very relieved. I could not take on even more competition I get too old for it.

 

I used to be the youngest in the family. The baby of the family. I loved it. I was born for that position in life. All the special attention.

 

But then George came along and took some of the glory away and then Amani too. I had to work so hard at being cute to hang on to my status and popularity stakes. It is so tiring.

 

Talking of tiredness it is my bedtime. If you’ll just excuse me my bedtime show starts at 7.30pm so I can’t hang around blogging to you all night.

 

This is another very, very tiring activity. Mum and Dad put me to bed at 7.30pm and I have to improvise crying, shouting, talking, screaming, just anything to prove to them I am not sleeping for three long hours. Sometimes especially if I have had an exciting day I just want to go to sleep. But I can’t. I am two years old. I have responsibilities part of which is ensuring my parents are aware that I am not sleeping between 7.30pm and 10.30pm.

 

Ok. Bye Bye, Ewan.

 

 

©2017 www.jeanniejeanniejeannie.co.uk – Phil Robinson

 

 

When I was a lad at school around 13 years old, our Maths teacher used to call me Wol. At the end of the year as we were moving up a class I plucked up courage to ask why he called me Wol. He told meit was thename of the deslexic owl in Winnie the Pooh. With my Harry Potter glasses he said I looked like the Wise Old Owl in the Winnie the Pooh stories.

 

Being the vain person I am I took it as a compliment

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