25th JUNE 2017
IT'S ALL ABOUT WEEKLY CELEBRATIONS
Hi Ewan here. Fathers Day! This is a review a bit like Trip Adviser but totally different. As you know all these events like Father’s Day have given me lots of trouble and concern during my first two years of existence, also like like Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day.
I thought Father’s Day would follow the same pattern as Christmas - “Father’s Day” so Dads come secretly in the night and fill the rucksack you have hung at the end of your bed, with presents. All dad’s have rucksacks it’s part of their equipment the equivalent of Santa’s sack and stockings.
I said at Mother’s Day that I was under the impression that every weekend there is a celebration of something like birthday or Christmas that means I get loads of present each week.
Here are 70 days of celebration – that’s more than one a week - I thought everyone celebrated these in a year and for each one I got gifts.
1 5 January - Twelfth Night January
2 Farmhouse Breakfast Week January
3 RSPB Big Garden Birdwatch Weekend January
4 Chinese New Year January
5 My Birthday February
6 Valentines Day February
7 Pancake Day February
8 Candlemas Day - February 2 February
9 28 January - 4 February - National Storytelling Week February
10 Mardi Gras February
11 Clocks Go forward Day March
12 World Book Day March
13 Mothers Day March
14 St Patrick's Day March
15 St David's Day March
16 Waterstones Children's Book Prize Day March
17 St Georges Day April
18 Easter Sunday April
19 Grandad's Birthday April
20 London Marathon April
21 April Fool's Day April
22 Grand National April
23 Shakespeare's Birthday April
24 Cousin George's Birthday May
25 National Record Shop Day May
26 FA Cup Final May
27 Elmer Day May
28 Newark Agricultural Show May
29 Mid Summer's Day June
30 Fathers’ Day June
31 Open Farm Sunday June
32 Sports Day June
33 Glastonbury Festival June
34 Queen's Birthday Trooping the Colour June
35 Ramadan June
36 British Grand Prix July
37 Dad's & Uncle Chris' Birthday July
38 Swan Upping - Third Week of July July
39 American Independence Day July
40 August Bank Holiday August
41 Summer holiday Week August
42 Notting Hill Carnival August
43 Auntie NanNan Birthday August
44 Uncle Col Birthday August
45 Mum's Birthday September
46 Harvest Festival - Nearest Sunday of the Harvest Moon September
47 Blackpool & Matlock Illuminations September
48 Clocks go Back Day October
49 Brother Rory's Birthday October
50 Halloween October
51 Diwali October
52 Remembrance Sunday November
53 Bonfire Night November
54 St Andrew's Day November
55 Thanksgiving Day November
56 Black Friday November
57 Mamma's Birthday December
58 First Day of Advent & All of Advent December
59 Cousin Freya's Birthday/ Christmas Eve December
60 Christmas Day December
61 Boxing Day December
62 New Year's Eve December
63 Your Birthday TBA
64 Granny's Birthday TBA
65 Grandad David's Birthday TBA
66 Auntie Parveen TBA
67 Isaac TBA
68 Amani TBA
69 Auntie Debbie TBA
70 Aisha TBA
The reasoning for these thoughts were that when I was a newly born baby up until I was about two I, like all babies thought the world was all about me because I was the centre of everyone’s attention. So I just assumed all these days were in my honour and celebrated in my name with gifts to me. What’s wrong with that?
This is the third Father’s Day and it was the third Mother’s Day I’d been overlooked. I’ve been explaining it away as part of the second child syndrome, where mum and dad have had their fussy out with the first child and couldn’t care less when it comes to the second child. Been their done that got the baby sick on the T shirt. But this year the penny has just started to drop. I realised I don’t get anything for Father’s Day. My Dad gets it all, the selfish git. Infact, get this, my mum buys him stuff and makes out it’s from me.
Did she ask me if I wanted to participate? I don’t think so. Just took it upon herself. She writes cards and puts kisses on the bottom. Does she ask me if that’s what I want? No. And maybe I don’t want to do that. People will be thinking I’m a Hodgo, you know (Mamma’s side of the family, very sensitive and kissy, kissy) and I’m not I’m hard like my grandads’.
But then again Dad loved his card and pressie and meal with all the family. I tried putting him off his meal by being dramatic. But it didn’t work, he was intent on getting his pint and his meal. But I’m getting to understand the joy of giving.
You can’t understand older people, like my dad, can you? Mum said he could go anywhere for a treat. You would think he’d want to go to Thomasland, White Post Farm, West Midlands Safari Park, a soft play area or even Rufford Park to feed the ducks. But no, a tour of Garden Centres. Aren’t parents so boring?
But this is where the joy of giving became evident. You should have seen the smile on his chubby little face when he bought his plants. Such a sad life he has.
Trip Adviser Type rating for my new found enjoyment of Father’s Day 4.9
Bye Bye, Ewan.
©2017 www.jeanniejeanniejeannie.co.uk – Phil Robinson
When I was a lad at school around 13 years old, our Maths teacher used to call me Wol. At the end of the year as we were moving up a class I plucked up courage to ask why he called me Wol. He told meit was thename of the deslexic owl in Winnie the Pooh. With my Harry Potter glasses he said I looked like the Wise Old Owl in the Winnie the Pooh stories.
Being the vain person I am I took it as a compliment
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