Ewan and George blog together!!!!
WHAT IS THE POINT OF NON-CHOCOLATE MONEY?
Ewan advises George about money
George: Welcome to my world won’t you come on in.
Ewan: Hi I will, ‘n all. Thanks. Its Ewan here.
George: I’m so pleased we are meeting up young Ewan.
Ewan: Can I just stop you there. I am not ‘young’ Ewan I am more than twice your age. You are not yet one year old. I am (almost) two years old and one month.
George: Ok, ok, keep your hat on. Just terminology I picked up from Grandad.
Ewan: Yes, but just remember everyone is young compared to Grandad.
George: Anyway, life’s too short to argue. As you are older and wiser than me I thought you might be able to advise me on something Grandad bought me.
Ewan: I certainly can. I am so close to Grandad, I look after him every Tuesday and three hours on a Friday. I know everything about him. What was it?
George; A pig.
Ewan: Wow! What a real one? That’s better than a dog you know. There’ll be no other kid in the nursery with a pig. I’d so love a pig. Just a minute though. I bet it’s a guinea pig.
George: No it’s not a live one.
Ewan: Is it dead, then?
George: No it’s a toy.
Ewan: It’ll be Peppa Pig, her brother George, Peppa’s Mummy or Peppa’s Daddy. Come on ask me anything about Peppa Pig. I have watched every episode time and time again.
George: No I know all about Peppa and George. I watch it too. It should be called Freya Pig after my sister because it tells everyone about what me and her are doing everyday. It’s our video blog. But someone heard Freya’s name wrong and spelt it Peppa.
The pig Grandad bought me is all about money. It’s a piggy bank.
Ewan: Oh, yes. Grandad has bought all us grandchildren one. Grandad says it is important because money makes the world go round.
George: What does he mean by that?
Ewan: You know how day is light and night is dark?
George: Yeh, I love the dark and watching the stars and the moon.
Ewan: Well, it changes because the world spins going through daytime and night time. Sometimes it spins really fast, which makes it windy and blows your hair, and Grandad’s cap off.
George: What would happen if the world stopped going round?
Ewan: Life would be boring. Either it would be daylight all the time and then you wouldn’t ever sleep again and get so tired and grumpy. Or it would be dark all the time and you’d lie in bed doing nothing and having nothing to eat. Boring,
George: But I go to sleep when its daylight anyway. I’m under one year old I don’t have to stick to laws, rules and regulations except the one that says I must have breast milk.
Ewan: Why’s that a law then?
George: Grandad says politician make nonsense laws like that because they don’t live in the real world. Do we live in the real world, Ewan?
Ewan: We sure do, when we make that once in a lifetime journey, down that narrow tunnel. I thought I was going to get ‘stuck’ it was so tight. Then, once your out that’s the real world.
George: So how does money make the world going round happen?
Ewan: I can make the world go round without any money at all. If someone puts on music I do Ewan’s dance which is spinning and turning round and then the world spins round and round all by itself. .Its brilliant.
George: I’ll remember that for when I can walk. So, what is money and why is Grandad so keen for all his grandchildren to have piggy banks,
Ewan: The two are linked for some silly adult reason. Gather round, I’ll tell what I know.
George: There’s only me so how do I gather round you?
Ewan: Oh George, don’t take things so literal. There are two types of money: chocolate money which you peel off the silver or gold coin wrapper to expose chocolate which you eat. Then, there are metal coins and paper notes which you are not supposed to eat. But its brilliant if you try to because grown ups go into panic overload, meltdown.
George (Laughing): Yes, I know. I’ve done it. It so freaks them out.
Ewan: As far as I can see chocolate coins are best. They are yum, yummy. The metal ones are not worth the metal or paper they are made from.
George: I don’t see where piggy banks come into this.
Ewan: Easy the only thing you can do with metal coins and paper notes apart from putting them in your mouth is to post them into the piggy bank slot. I assure you it can be moderately good fun.
George: I can’t see me getting the same satisfaction from putting coins in a pig as playing with an electric cable.
Ewan: No, no, I can understand where you are coming from.
George: But why does Grandad see a piggy bank as so important that he insists on buying us all one?
Ewan: You’ve got to view him sympathetically. He’s very, very old. He does not have a lot left in life. He gets immense fun from collecting coins and paper and pushing them through a slot in the top of a ceramic pig. At his age he’s not got much time left. It is our duty as his beloved grandchildren to encourage his whimsical ways, no matter how weird.
George: Is that the only purpose for money – coins and notes – then?
Ewan: Yes, as far as I can see. It then stays in the piggy bank until one day when we have our coats on and just about to go out and Mum or Dad, usually Mum, starts racing around in a panic like a headless chicken and grabs the piggy bank. Yanks the bung out of the bottom, and puts all the money in her purse and that is the last you’ll ever see of it.
George: But don’t they go to work to earn money. My Mum says “I’ve got to go to work to get some pennies to buy your dinner.”
Ewan: That’s just something say pass you off with. Parents are notorious, serial liars like when they say “I’m leaving without you!” or “I don’t know where your toy is. You must have lost it.” or “I can’t find the remote control” or “Thomas the Tank Engine is not real, he’s only a puppet”. He is so real too. I have travelled on him.
George: Don’t I need money needed to buy food, milk, clothes nappies and toys?
Ewan: Of course not, parents and grandparents have a constant supply of whatever you want.
George: I guess you are right. So why do Mum and Dad go to work?
Ewan: Work is exactly the same for them as nursery is for us. They have carers for the day and are given lots of activities to occupy their minds and make time go quickly. Work is a focused environment for their little minds which means they flourish and grow to the best they possibly can. They are able to make new friends, develop relationships and social skills that will shape their growth. These skills help build them as confident individuals. Work also encourages their playtime, they learn new toilet skills, and it gives them a sense of independence, inflicts and encourages discipline. They even improve eating skills.
But most of all it is the law, because if any Mum and Dad stayed at home all day with only one another for company they’d end up murdering one another. You’ve seen how they act towards one another in the short time they are together.
George: Wow, Ewan, you know so much more than me.
Ewan: I know, that’s because I am two years old and you are not even one yet.
George: I know and I’m sleepy. But before I go to sleep you’ve explained about the piggy bank, Grandad says Ebay is a cash cow. How does a cash cow differ from a piggy bank?
Ewan: You do look sleepy. Let’s leave that for another day. Bye, Bye.
George: Ok. See ya
When I was a lad at school around 13 years old, our Maths teacher used to call me Wol. At the end of the year as we were moving up a class I plucked up courage to ask why he called me Wol. He told meit was thename of the deslexic owl in Winnie the Pooh. With my Harry Potter glasses he said I looked like the Wise Old Owl in the Winnie the Pooh stories.
Being the vain person I am I took it as a compliment
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