(As told to Grandad)
Hi, Ewan’s the name and I’m just 19 months old. I don’t think that’s lots I know its more than when I was 12 months old, but at my age numbers don’t mean a lot. Some pple like my granddad and mamma are millions of years old. But what does that mean. I think it means when they were children dinosaurs were not yet extinct. And beetles sang. I’ve heard birds sing a lot, but I don’t think beetles do any more.
There was no colour in the world everything was in black and white and grey. Boring. I do know because my granddad has shown me photographs and I’ve seen him watching films that have no colour.
Then I think it was in the 19eo60s because, granddad says everything came alive in the 1960s. The government said vote for us and we will make the world colourful. Grandad said they started with Wimbledon Tennis match in 1967.
I get to go to tennis every Saturday because my brother is learning to play it. I lay playing with the bouncy balls.
I think they started introducing colour to the world at Wimbledon because it was easy. Everything was either green or white.
Now everything in the whole world has been coloured in. Except some of our walls at homes. I try to help colour those in but mum goes mad. Not so much at me, more my dad because he was watching football or F1 on the telly and didn’t stop me. But I thought it needed colouring in.
To say this blog is about me, little Ewan, I have gone on a lot about my granddad, that’s because he will feature in my blog a lot. He is helping me make it happen.
You see me and grandad understand one another. We are both at about the same level of intelligence. If you draw a graph and plot out intelligence mine is soaring by the day. Plot grandad's and his diminishes daily with age. We are now at the pont on the graph where his and my line cross. So we are equal.
To write a blog, which I was eager to do you need a computer.
“Little babies don’t know how to use computers.” Says my mamma in the most patronising of voices.
No baggy pants, we are never likely to learn because every time I get hold of a keyboard, mouse, television remote or mobile telephone its snatched from me. I’ll never get to learn.
That is where granddad comes in. He understands me. Mamma says I have more intelligence than he but I suppose that is why we understand one another. And that is probably why he’s letting me be part of his blog, it helps lift his blog a little.
I am with granddad a few times in the week and over the weeks I will try and get across my view on life. Adults, parents, aunt’s and uncles, don’t seem to have a clue.But I intend to put the world to rights.
Oh dear there goes mamma going on at granddad again. What I do not understand is I’ve been around just 19 months not long around 350 days. I have learnt how to wrap mamma around my little finger. Grandad’s had millions of years to learn how to deal with her but still does not have a clue and is always in trouble.
Anyway thanks for reading. See you next week.
When I was a lad at school around 13 years old, our Maths teacher used to call me Wol. At the end of the year as we were moving up a class I plucked up courage to ask why he called me Wol. He told meit was thename of the deslexic owl in Winnie the Pooh. With my Harry Potter glasses he said I looked like the Wise Old Owl in the Winnie the Pooh stories.
Being the vain person I am I took it as a compliment
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